Siblings needs for/ during a home birth

[Gina Grothoff]

I am planning a home birth for my 3rd child due in Jan. I am debating on the need to have someone to be with my children (mainly for my 6 year old daughter as I know my 11 yr old son will be fine- he attended his sister's birth in a hospital when he was 4- and I had someone to be there for him).
If my labor goes quickly- last time it was about 4 hours- but that was almost 7 yrs ago- I doubt she will need anyone- as my husband will be here.
but she has become quite clingy lately- Mising me more when I am separated from her.
I also can't imagine needing anyone if my labor starts while she is sleeping- as I will wait til right before the baby is born to wake her.

I would love others ideas on this. AGain my son is 11- very mature- and my daughter will be one month shy of her 7th bday- when I am due.

thanks!

[Cara Yara]

Hi Gina

I could probably tell you this in person the next time I see you, but who knows if we will be given enough uninterrupted time to chat!

For my first home birth, my husband, mom and sister were there, plus the midwife, her apprentice and her intern. It actually felt like too many people and the bathroom got very crowded (I gave birth in the tub). Madeline was 2 at the time, but she had lots of people to hang out with. The midwife's apprentice was also a doula and my hypnobirth instructor so she was at my side the majority of the time and Jake was secondary.

Fo my second home birth, my husband and my mom were there, plus the midwife and her apprentice. That was a nice amount of people. My mom helped out with Maddy & Mia, who were 5 1/2 & 3 1/2 at the time. Jake played a more integral role in attending to my needs.

This time around my mom couldn't make it cause she had to work, so it was just my husband, the midwife and her apprentice. My midwife also brought her teenage daughter, but she was there to watch my midwife's newborn!
I relied on Jake even more this birth and even had him get in the tub with me. The girls spent a lot of time during the day just playing or watching DVDs. The apprentice was great at entertaining Shannon when she needed attention: she read books to her, braided her hair, got her things to eat. The kids mainly came in at for last 15-60 minutes or so (my concept of time flew out the window during labor!). I felt like we were fine without any extra help during the birth. The hard part was when we were all done and the midwife left. Then it was just Jake and I and the kids and new baby and we were exhausted. All we wanted to do was sleep, but Shannon wasn't quite ready for bed.

I think your kids are old enough that they should be fine if its just you, your husband, the midwife and her apprentice. But if you are laboring during the day and the kids get bored, you can call me and I can bring them to the playground or my house for awhile!

Cara

[Gina Grothoff]

Thanks Cara! for your experiences and input- and your offer to take my kids.
It hadn't occurred to think about having someone for right after the baby is born.
Obviously this all depends upon the time of day and how long my labor is- last time it was 4 hours and in the wee hours of the morning.
It helps me to hear others experiences to give me ideas so I can figure out what would work best.
I have decided that the less people in my house the better- it is a small house and I know I will want quiet.
Gina

[Leslie]

Hi Gina,

I am planning on keeping our 2 here and have asked that my parents be here to help out as needed. I guess if it's necessary then I will ask my parents to take the kids out for a while but hope it's not necessary. Long story short, if you need me to that day, I can be a back up "sitter" especially since I am right down the street. I don't mind at all. I know our kids would really enjoy the company and can get tips from you for mine coming up in April:)